Sunday, October 25, 2009


I was sick the last two weeks, I had a stomach flew...Tomorrow I'll finally go to school again, but I'm not happy at all about that fact. Now I have to look that I'll get copies from everything I missed. That's not easy at all, because nobody is really speaking with me. Even the people who said they are my friends, don't even reply my sms and I'm so desperated that I sent also one to a kind of ex-friend. No answer at all from both...That's so...depressing! What am I supposed to do now? It seems that nobody is interested in me at all. Nobody wrote me to ask what I have or when I'm going to come back. I'm glad that next week are holidays, so I don't have to see them all. All these people, who give me the feeling to be some kind of a tumor. That they are bored of me and wished I was gone. My heart feels so heavy when I'm thinking about it and I want to cry. But I can't because I don't want that my parents are worried, that I could try to kill myself again. Well...honestly I thought already very often to try it again...

Yesterday I got my new's so unusual, but I kind of like it. And I finally see better!

Today I draw already two canvas and made a new True Blood design for cafepress. I still didn't sell anything which is a bit frustrating but well, I can't change anything about it. I just hope there are some people out there who are interested in my boring life and will read my blog. It feels good to write everything down what's going on in my head and I would feel even better when I would know that there are people out there who are really interested in it.
Oh by the way, I'm thinking to sell my canvas and selfmade bookmarks on etsy...but my father doesn't understand why I want to do this. I don't really know either why I want to sell stuff. Maybe I want to show myself, that I'm talented in doing something.
But do I have a chance with selling canvas?

I'm currently also into giveaway contests (but I never have luck), so if you know some interesting international giveaway contests just let me know =)

byebye now